Fuck Distance..Be here

Follow your insticts!

Long time ago..

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Move on?

Well, I am not really sure why am I writing this. All i know is first year of uni is done and the second year is about to begin.( only if I pass chemistry of course-.-).
Being far away from home its not easy, but being in a foreign country is much more painfull than studying in your country! I dont know if eventually I will get through this, missing home is all I do. I am not saying that uni is not fun, it is.. but definitely not like Greece. I mean lets be honest nowhere is like Greece. However, at some point you need to comprise to the idea that you are alone, that you need to start fresh. Meet new people, get to know them and eventually have new friends. And what if you dont want to have new friends and you want the old ones? Obviously, you are not antisocial, you just dont want to make good friends cause you already have plenty of them back home. But you know what? Studying is all about growing up. Think abou it, it's the first time you will live alone, you will face adult responsibilities like pay the bills, cook, wash your clothes etc. No one will be here to give you an advice, of course your parents will always be there for you blah blah blah. They cant take decisions for you anymore, and when you make a wrong decision you will have to face the consequences all alone, they cant take responsibility for you anymore. THATS GROWING UP! Your old friends, if they are true friends, will always be by yourside, even if you are in the other side of the world. You will not get to see them everyday, spend aaaall day with them like you did in high school, but they will be always there for you and you will always love them no matter what. Moving on is hard, but you have your own life now, no one can decide for your life, your future but you! Life is a bitch ha? Yep, its a tricky bitch. But you have to get used to it and MOVE ON. Be ok with the idea that you are going to lose things from your best friend's uni life cause you are far away from her and that she will have to do the same, and start accepting that things change, you will change, she will change, your lives are changing and there is nothing to do about it. Yes, if you are lucky you might be in the same place after uni again but nothing is going to be the same. You will have to work,she will have to work, you will find someone that you'll spend your life with and visa versa. In my case, I know I am not going back to Greece after uni and I know that she is staying in Greece after uni, all of my friends are.. I just feel like I dont care anymore and sometimes its killing me,cause I know I love her and all of my friends more than anything and I dont want to move on even if they already did. But, I also know that there is nothing I can do anymore, it was my decision to study in Wales and I just have to face the consequences and try to make my life as better as I can.
University definitely matures you..! ( I dont even know if you can say "it matures you" ). My perfect English!
aaaand we move on,right??

Friday, February 8, 2013

Guess

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name i find meaning..

You know that something is wrong when you cry for no reason.Actually,when you have plenty reasons to cry but you shouldnt cause success needs sacrifices right?
Fuck the success and fuck the sacrifices.What's the fucking point being successful when you feel all alone?When everything you are doing is not enough cause the people you care the most can not be with you.Everything is wrong,this day last year everything was so different.
Something is wrong when you have no one to be with when you feel depressed.
Something is wrong when you're talking to pictures,really wrong.
Something is wrong when you are talking to the ceiling and somehow you are always getting the worst advices ever.
Something is wrong when you feel like there is a gab,like something is missing.
And something is extremely wrong when you know exactly that something which is missing.
The worst part is when you cant do anything to change the situation.I guess you just have to get used to it and move on.But what if you dont want to?Then what?

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Tired

Tired of feeling alone.Δεν νιώθεις ποτέ σαν κάτι να λείπει;Όσο καλά και να πηγαίνουν τα πράγματα στα ζωή σου...
Νιώθω λες και υπάρχει ένα κενό,όπου και να είμαι,μόνη μου ή με παρέα,πάντα κάτι λείπει.
Πάντα!!
Και το κακό είναι ότι ξέρω πως δεν μπορώ να το αλλάξω,δεν έχω άλλη επιλογή.Προσπαθώ,αλήθεια προσπαθώ πολύ αλλά το αποτέλεσμα είναι ίδιο.Δεν είσαι εδώ..Και αυτό δε θα αλλάξει ότι και να κάνω,όσο και να προσπαθήσω.Έχω χάσει ήδη το πιο σημαντικό άτομο στη ζωή μου και όταν κάποιος πεθαίνει που να χτυπιέσαι δε γυρνάει,αν χάσω και εσένα λόγο της γαμημένης απόστασης θα φουντάρω στο λέω.
Ήθελα να μεγαλώσω για να είμαι ανεξάρτητη και τι κατάλαβα;Μακάρι να γυρνούσα τα χρόνια πίσω..
Μπορεί τότε να είχα άλλα προβλήματα,ποιος έφηβος δεν έχει άλλωστε;Αλλά είχα πάντα εσένα δίπλα μου και ήταν αρκετό. Από τότε που με θυμάμαι κάναμε τα πάντα μαζί.Τώρα γιατί πρέπει να τα κάνω μόνη μου τόσα χιλιόμετρα από εσένα;ΔΕΝ ΘΕΛΩ,πως το λένε;
Ξέρω πως περνάς στιγμές στη ζωή σου,καλές ή κακές, και εγώ δεν είμαι εκεί και αυτό με σκοτώνει.
Κοίτα ξέρω επίσης πως δε θα σε χάσω(το εύχομαι δηλαδή).10 χρόνια φιλία δεν είναι και λίγα,πάντα θα είσαι εκεί για μένα και θα είμαι ΠΑΝΤΑ δίπλα σου.Απλά δεν είναι το ίδιο,τίποτα δεν είναι ίδιο χωρίς εσένα και τίποτα δεν είναι αρκετό χωρίς εσένα..
Να σου πω και την αλήθεια ζηλεύω λίγο..Δεν ξέρω γιατί,μου λες πάω στης Κατερίνας τα λέμε και ζηλεύω..Νιώθω πως ίσως με αντικαταστήσετε κάποια μέρα και μετά τι;
Ξέρω πως δεν ισχύει αλλά και πάλι φοβάμαι.
Επίσης με την καμμία δεν είναι ίδιο το να είμαστε μαζί και να σου περιγράφω κάτι που έγινε με το να στο περιγράφω από κάμερα..Μου λείπεις και σε αγαπώ όσο κανένα άλλο..
Και ίσως κάνω κακό στον εαυτό μου με το να τα σκέφτομαι όλα αυτά κάθε μέρα απλά δεν μπορώ να το ελέγξω..
Μη με ξεχάσεις..
See u soon <3 div="">